


Drifting Up the Cliffs With the Rising Stars

by KrastBannert



Series: The Good, the Bad, and the Life in Between [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Breaking Up & Making Up, F/M, Fire Nation culture (very brief mention), Fluff, Light Angst, Post-Episode: s03e14-15 The Boiling Rock, Romance, maiko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:00:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25923235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrastBannert/pseuds/KrastBannert
Summary: Zuko left her behind. He knows it, regrets it, and wishes he could change it. When Mai escapes the Boiling Rock, he thinks they might have a chance to start over.But first they have to finish what they started.
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: The Good, the Bad, and the Life in Between [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858354
Comments: 8
Kudos: 115





	Drifting Up the Cliffs With the Rising Stars

**Author's Note:**

> I have been working on this for...like...a month and a half. Maybe more. I've re-written it like 3 or 4 times. I think enough is enough.
> 
> If the quality is bad, blame _Stargate SG-1_ and _Gravity Falls_. I've been binge watching them _way_ too hard. 
> 
> Title inspired by a line from 'Rustle of the Stars' by A Silent Film.

“Hey,” she whispers softly in the gloom.

He startles at the sound of her voice. He hadn’t expected to hear her anytime soon – she’d kept her distance since they escaped the Boiling Rock. He’d been so completely, utterly confused because when he pulled her into the gondola, she’d collapsed against him. Her nails had dug divots in his back as she buried her face in his shoulder, and she’d been practically wrapped around him for the first half of their escape. It was like all his mistakes had been forgotten.

But then, suddenly, she’d pulled away.

She became quiet, distant, and aloof. She’d watch him from a distance, never coming close. He’d sneak a glance at her across the campfire, and she’d be staring back at him. It always made him blush, turn away with a small smile on his face, but it also unnerved him.

He had asked Ty Lee about the sudden change. She had simply smiled up at him and said,” Just give her time.”

And now she’s here. She’s like a wraith, smooth and expressionless and cloaked in shadow. Their knees bump, and he can’t think of anything. Their legs dangle in the empty air, and there’s a brief moment where he pictures her falling, just like she had five days ago, except this time he can’t do anything about it.

Mai’s too careful for that to happen, he knows, but Zuko can’t help but picture it. The good things in his life never seem to stick around.

“Uh…hey,” he eventually rasps. The corners of her lips tick up in the ghost of a smile, obviously pleased with herself about something, and she holds out a hand.

He grudgingly passes her the bag of fire flakes he’d snagged from the airship. He’d spent hours staring up at the stone ceiling of the platform they all slept on, unable to sleep, and hoped a taste of home would help.

So far, it hasn’t.

They sit in silence, and he wants to say something, he _needs_ to – she had saved his life, saved _all_ of their lives, but he can’t find the words. His heart is pounding in his throat and the only thing he can think about it is her soft warmth, her thigh pressed against his, the way her hair sways gently in the breeze.

He wants to pull her close, wrap his arms around her, bury his nose in her hair. But can’t. Not right now. So he clenches his teeth and grips the cold stone beneath him.

He has ten thousand questions he wants to ask, but the one he keeps coming back to is _why_? Why save him? He’s not worth it. He’s a traitor, and a failure, and he hurt her. He left her only a note to say goodbye, he left her again in that prison cell – so why had she done it?

“I…uh…I want to say thank you,” he finally says. His voice wavers uneasily as he fiddles with a thread on his clothes.” But that doesn’t feel like enough for what you did.”

She shrugs likes it’s nothing, pops a crisp into her mouth, and changes the subject after a beat.

“So…the Avatar?”

Zuko turns to look at her. His heart flutters because _Agni_ she’s beautiful - her face is cast half in shadow, half in starlight, her eyes glint, and he’s struck speechless as her lips curl at his awkwardness.” Uh, yeah. Yeah. I’ve been teaching him firebending. It’s been…interesting.” That’s one way of putting it.

She cocks an eyebrow ever so slightly. They stare at each other in a silent battle of wills. And just like always, he breaks first.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, looking away. It isn’t going to fix everything, he knows, and he has no illusions otherwise. This isn’t a fairy tale or a play.” I…I know you don’t want to hear it, but I _really_ didn’t mean to hurt you. I mean, I knew it would, but I-I knew what I had to do and I didn’t…I just…”

“Zuko,” Mai whispers, and her voice stops him in his tracks. She turns and reaches out to cover his hand with hers. He breathes in sharply as her thumb strokes along the back of his hand.” I _know_.”

To the world, Mai was rough. She was dark and gloomy, apathetic with nothing but sharp edges, all terse words and stern glares, but Zuko knows different. He’s seen it. She's gentle, and soothing, and calming, and he lets out the breath he’s been holding in since she arrived.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said, back on Ember Island, and at…at the Boiling Rock,” she whispers.” You figured out what you thought was right.”

“Yeah,” he says. It’s an echo of a conversation from months ago, one he could remember with startling clarity.” I just…I wish I could have done it differently.”

She stops for a moment, stares at him.” So do I,” she says,” but what’s done is done.”

“You’re still mad at me,” he replies.

A predatory glint appears in her eye, but it’s gone in a flash, and she gives his hand a gentle squeeze.” I am. But right now, I just want to understand.”

“I know,” he sighs. She’s giving him a chance, at least, and he’s not sure if he deserves even that.” I’m not even sure where to start. I…I should have told you. But I couldn’t.”

“Why not?” she prompts.

“Because-” he starts, then falls silent, his traitorous lips refusing to form words _again_.” I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

She raises an eyebrow at him.” I can take care of myself. I think you know that.”

“Oh, I do,” he chuckles dryly,” but even _knowing_ what I was doing would have made you an accomplice. And you or your family would have been hurt because of that. I just…couldn’t let more people get hurt because of me.”

She’s silent, eyes flicking over his face, and a knot forms in his chest.

“I wanted to tell you,” he continues.” I wanted to ask you to come with me, but I couldn’t put you in that position. I _had_ to go, I had to make a choice, but you _didn’t_. And I just…I-I couldn’t ask you to do that, to run away and become a traitor.”

She stares at him a moment longer before she speaks, and her voice is so full of conviction that she could be twice her age.” I would have gone with you,” she says.

“I wish I’d asked,” he mutters. He hunches in on himself as a guilty rock settles in his stomach. He flings a pebble into the gloom below, and the distant splash echoes off the canyon walls. He hates this, hates that he can’t seem to do the right thing without screwing up. He could count on one hand the number of times he’d done the right thing with no ulterior motives and without somehow fucking it up. It was like an icy spear through his heart, twisting in his chest. He hated it.

He knows what Uncle would say if he knew Zuko was thinking like this. Something about how he _was_ worth something, how he had the power to bring balance, he simply had to look inside himself and _find it_. But it was hard, not knowing what to do.

So incredibly, frustratingly hard, and it makes him miss Uncle. One, he’d hated the constant proverbs and offers of tea and Pai Sho. Now he would take it back – shitty old ship and unruly crew and all – if only to hear his uncle’s voice again. He doubted he ever would – with what he did to Uncle, he wouldn’t be surprised if Iroh never wants to see him again.

He feels Mai elbow his side.” I know what you’re thinking. Stop it.” Zuko huffs and catches her elbow, tucking his arm through hers automatically. He goes to retract his arm, but she stills him with a tug.

“You’re always doing this,” she continues quietly,” being impulsive, and crazy, and _stupid_.”

She’s right. He’s impulsive, and stupid, and crazy, and a jerk.” Yeah, I know.”

“But,” she notes, picking her head up,” you’re other things, too.”

“What do you mean?” Zuko asks, raising one eyebrow.

She’s quiet for a long time, staring up at something amidst the twinkling stars. He wishes he could count them, the thousands of pinpricks of light. He traces out one of the constellations Jee had taught him: Izanagi, legendary hero of the early Fire Nation who had fought Hell itself to free his wife. It was one of his favorite stories, but it was a tragedy. Just like life, he supposes.

Finally, Mai speaks.

“You’re kind,” she says.” You treat everyone with respect, no matter who they are. Your jokes are stupid, but you’re always trying to make someone happy. And you’re brave. It’s why I liked you, when we were kids.”

“And then I treated you like shit,” he mumbles.” You, and Uncle, and everyone else who actually cared about me.”

“You did,” she agrees, and she curls against his side, wrapped around his arm. Her head ticks over on his shoulder, and he’s confused but he’s not going to question it, not with the pleasurable warmth that somehow spreads through him.” But you admit it. And when your boyfriend does that…well, you can’t just let him go that easily.”

When he looks down at her, wide-eyed, she’s already staring up at him expectantly.” So…you…don’t hate me?”

Mai huffs, and begrudgingly admits,” It means, idiot, that I…actually kind of like you.”

She reaches up, palming his cheek as she tilts his head downward, and rises up to press her lips against his. An electric spark flares, and warmth explodes through him. Mai is gentle and soft as she kisses him, stroking his cheek with one hand and snaking her other arm around him to palm his back. Her mouth is pleasantly warm and he distantly thinks she tastes like jasmine, but he’s too busy melting into her to care.

He wraps one arm around her waist and clutches at the back of her neck with the other. She tucks her head against his shoulder as they pull apart. He rests his cheek on her hair and lets out a deep breath. He closes his eyes, her finger stroking against his cheek soothing his nerves, bringing him back down from the high and taking him even higher.

For a moment, he lets himself forget where he is, lets him think that this is all there is to the world. For a moment, neither of them are traitors.

He can pretend there’s no war. That he was never banished, and they’re getting to know each other in a time of peace. He’s not a banished prince, and she’s not a traitorous _kuge_. They’re just a pair of awkward teens who had to grow up too fast.

For a moment, sitting on a cliff under rising stars, they can just be Zuko and Mai.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Kuge_ refers to nobility of the Imperial Court of Japan before 1869. They were extremely influential from the beginning of unified (it wasn't really that unified) Japanese government during the late 8th century until the 12th century when the Kamakura Shogunate was founded. They declined in importance, but still remain relevant today - they lack an official status, but the families are influential in pretty much every field. I know the Fire Nation is more of a mix of Chinese and Japanese culture, but it's always seemed to lean more towards Japanese to me, so I'm rolling with it.
> 
> Sorry about the history tangent there - I've always been fascinated with the history of Japan, Korea, and China, and I kinda dove down the rabbit hole a little bit here. Hopefully you enjoyed my semi-sensical ravings, both in the story and the author's note.
> 
> Any kudos, comments, and et cetera you feel like leaving are all greatly appreciated!
> 
> Also: wear a mask. Please.


End file.
